Under a spell or a curse?
OR just pure bad luck?
Bleah.. What ever it is.. I dun wish to know..
Just tell me the cure!

Ever since the Blowup of AYG,
My life has been messed up..
Failure.. Disorder.. Disappointment..
and more Disappointment..

"Bam!" The door slams..
I walked to the next..
"BAM!" goes the other door..
and the next..
and the next..
AND THE NEXT..
This recurrence has stirred up a whole buncha negative emotions in me..
Good Grief..

One by one..
All I once had.. is fading to black..
and then gone within the shadows..

It's like how my grans wakes the dead(me) up in the morn..
First there's a call..
and the second..
followed by a warning
then a nudge..
next, the pillow flies..
and another pillow goes missing
One by one they disappear.. (unfortunately not my Gran's ranting)
until the last..
My most precious bolster, locked inside my arms, gets brutally pulled away.
There.. I was left lying .. naked and bare..

Speaking of nakedness..
After much thought about it..
I think I kinda get the gist of the beauty of being naked..
Unclothed as a form of art..
I'll post my thoughts about this aft Ive done a certain amount of research on it.
Catch it soon!

OH YA!! LEMME SHOW YOU MY BEDTIME FRIENDS! :D



Ops, Sorry for the digression.
Looking back..
HEY!
Doesn't this resemble the Pharaoh's hardening of the heart?
After all the warnings and disasters,
yet he doesn't realise that his stubborn rebellion against the controller
brings him nothing but self-destruction?

Only when you overcome that lil Devil in you, can you open your eyes.
Finally, to see that all that you've lost..
Is actually not too far away, at the corner of the bed..

Now, the question is..

What is IT I'm suppose to wake up from?



Or.. Has my heart already froze?





Kurosakiz - Even Superman has his soft sides..
Give this ordinary guy a chance to Emo like you lah!! haha!! :P
Yea I know.. I hope that I can still grasp my faith of hope even when I'm the last one on the shelf..

Kurosakiz - Nowadays, I feel im getting toyed like a fool
wandering around in the labyrinth my "game-master" created.
Yeah I'm still seeking and awating his answer.. ><
Yep! U stay happy too!! :D

Eunice - hmm.. I dun see you anywhere near me nw.. haha.. (24May'09 11.33pm)
But I'll see you tmr in sch!! :D

Clara - Haha thanks.. :D and U're hot :D

Daffy - hi Daffy the duck! I'm Kenneth the MeepoksMan! :P

Yongren - *SHOCKED* YONGREN!! OMG!!!!!
U ought to be smacked awake haha :P

Yi Jin - Haiyoo!! Naughty naughty U... Dun reveal our secret PLAYGROUND leh!! LOL!

Kenneth Tung - GO AWAY U IMPOSTER!! NO MEEPOKS FOR YOU!

eugene - haha yeah.. but now it seems all those minor responsibilities are running away from me.. and What's left? The one I detest the most :P
Haha.. Dun slack le lahh!! Midyears is next week!! Try your best too ah Brother! :D
Straight As!!! :D (that guy is an imposter! I'm being framed!)

vanessa[: - Wow!! u're so kind!! haha.. go make some rainbow in the weather machine lah!!
IF that doesnt work.. find Pajamas Sam to give you the Earth-Shaking can of Goo la! haha..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another weekend.. Gone!
4 more days to Midyears Part 1 !!
Working hard for IsaacW & Jam's Treat
muhahahaha

OHHHH YEAHHHHHH~~~!! Im sleeping before Midnight today!!

*BAM*

The door is officially..

closed..

haix

So that's it huh God?

You gave the chance..
and You took it away..
Kinda reminds me of the story of Job and Jonah..
Is this wht u really want to see in me?

I'm getting extremely weary being left alone in this dilemma..
left hanging upside down, spinning in midair..
hopefully.. unknowingly.. perform an act of Houdini..

Where? Where do you want me to go?
New potential paths springs out every now and then..
But I'm not as adventurous as before..
Afraid to meet another cliff at the end of the road.


Actually, I feel like im in some gatchapon machine nw..
Waiting.. just waiting for the day
where I happen to be chosen and successfully freed
from the miserable cage Im in.

When will my savior appear?
"Soon.." I pray.



Speak to me.. Please?

You've been awfully quiet these days.. :'(

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Whew!! Finally manage to dump a whole loada homework from my back!
SHUANG AHHH~!!!!!

Aft handing the last homework of the day (GP essay),
went down to SJI for CJC Olympics Track Event Heats.

half of T33 stomped into SJI..
All ready to burn the track..
Muhahahah
What we nver expected is that..
We all got burnt instead.. haha..
Oh wells.. It was a fun experience altogether. :D
Got to know a few members of the snr class..
May the bonds betwn us grow stronger before J2 grad.



AND GUESS WHAT!?
Ive got detention for handing up my MC a day late..
Geez.. It's like from 3-7pm -.-"
Heard frm ex-offender K.Q. that it's a waste of time..
Can slp the whole 4 hours sia!
Haha.. Maybe I'll bring my unfinished Kite-Runner.. :D

Anws, becoz of this DumbDee..
I'm going to miss my Fencing ex-co elections!
CRAP!!
Planning to sneak out somehow, to deliver my speech
den hopefully return unoticed :P

Been meditating quite a bit these days..
And I've decided!!
Vote for me! For Treasurer+Secretary!!
haha.. weird? Nah..
It's just a new exposure.. a new experience..

Have taken ldrship, logistics, publicity,
programmes, administration,welfare postitions..
What's left? Treasurer!!
Haha.. but since T&S comes in a package.. I'll have to do secretary too.. :P

SO! VOTE KENNETH FOR
FENCING SECRETARY AND TREASURER!! :D

Thanks Thanks! :D
Those who vote me will be greatly rewarded! haha..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag Replies:

Iskah - Haha yeah a whole buncha contridictions and distribution of false information..
Oh well.. As u said.. it is over.. (really soon! haha)

kurosakiz - haha.. sick that's why got time to blog mah! haha.. Yep! Slpt like 12 hours :D
It always feel SOOO GOOOD to know that you dun needa go sch the nxt day :D

CHARMAINE - Haha yeah!! OHKAY! OO!! Updates?
haha.. eeh u still haven update me on AYG training course!!
Got take alot of photos not? haha :D

Berny - Thanks bro! I'm almost fully recovered nw..
Still got some stubborn phelgm still stuck inside.. Zzz

Gladys - d--(^.^)--b

kurosakiz - Sorry man.. I also dunno why I din't reply.. ><"
Of course lah!! must make full use of the 2-days MC :D
I'll leave the catching up for another day :P

alexandra - Yep! I've recovered le both physically, mentally and emotionally :D
Yeah.. Losing it over such things isn't really worth it at all..
Gotta be more cautious in the future :D
And through this experience I've learnt hw to tame my anger better!

cherrytok436 - HELLO! Thank you!
Do patronise meepoks often! :D

vanessa[: - Yeah ahmeng's distant cousin.. He's name is ahKong..
Haiyoo!! So lazy! no wonder ur Kumon still haven complete lah!! anws JYJY! :D

WEIQING - haha yeah I was.. still feel abit tense up tho..
Shall go for some body-rejuvenation auromatherapy @ spa / massage palor soon! haha
Thanks for your concern!!

kurosakiz - Haha good good.. see nw that u're really disciplined!
haha.. but I rather sleep. Since young Ive got some motion-sleepyness disease..
Cannot de lah.. I needa study alone at home.. haha.. thanks for your advice anyway :D
AND YES IT DOESNT WORK!! LOL

chrisll - Hey! yeah long time no see ur tag le :P haha yep.. try la..
A lil stress is good..
BUT MID YEARS IS COMING!! 20% OF PROMOS!!!
AHHHH STRESS!!!! lol! kidd'n :P

ARGH! the homework load is getting too much to bear...


What's wrong?!

Been cutting down on computer games
But the time spent on the com has increased :P

Been eating faster
(to cut down on time spent on eating for studying)
But also been eating more frequent :P even junking at night :x GOSH!

Been a long time since I last took aftnn naps..
But that doesn't include slping in aftnn lectures and tutorials ><"

Been sleeping a lot ltr than usual to complete the homework (let alone study)
But practically stone and dream most of the time away -.-"

Been canceling most of my appointments, dates and group-study session..
But end up finding myself at somewhere else instead..

Been blogging alot lesser
(since each of these posts consumes an hr+ of my life..
DONT ASK ME WHY.. I do not hav any idea as well LOL)
But thats mostly due to procrastination lah haha..
I'll be at onemanga/facebook/anime-sites/photo galleries etc etc.

[Reflection process - - - - - - Complete!]

AHHHHHHHHHHH HAAAAAAAAAAA... SO THAT'S THE PROBLEM!!

Actually Ive always known abt this..
However, the reluctance to change is hard to overcome..
It's been building up.. feasting and feasting inside me..
so much so that its mass is like infinite..
Where can I find a force LARGE enough to push it?

Newton's 1st law states that :
"An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."
Objects tend to keep on doing what they're doing."
In fact, it is the natural tendency of objects to resist changes in their state of motion.

Same thing applies to these negative habits stored in me.


Through it all,, I'm glad that Ive got family and friends who really Care.
Taking up the responsibility to constantly keep a look out on me,
poke and nudge me to stop slacking and playing etc.
helping me with any problems (studies or not)

Is a simple "Thank you" enough to express my gratitude?
I want to repay ur kindness with something..
Anything! thats worthy or more than wht u've given to me..

Thoughts..
Thoughts without actions are meaningless..
Reality is harsh..
How can one..
conquer the oceans with a poor sailboat?
What more can you do.....


but dream?



Jordin Sparks - One Step At A Time

Hurry up and wait

So close, but so far away

Everything that you've always dreamed of

Close enough for you to taste

But you just can't touch



[Bridge]

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet

Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it

You know you can if you get the chance

In your face and the door keeps slamming

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated

And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take



[Chorus]

One step at a time

There's no need to rush

It's like learning to fly

Or falling in love

It's gonna happen and it's

Supposed to happen that we

Find the reasons why

One step at a time



[Verse 2]

You believe and you doubt

You're confused, you got it all figured out

Everything that you always wished for

Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours

If they only knew



[Bridge]

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet

Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it

You know you can if you get the chance

In your face and the door keeps slamming

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated

And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take



[Chorus]

One step at a time

There's no need to rush

It's like learning to fly

Or falling in love

It's gonna happen and it's

Supposed to happen that we

Find the reasons why

One step at a time



[Verse 3]

When you can't wait any longer

But there's no end in sight

When you need to find the strength

It's the faith that makes you stronger

The only way we get there

Is one step at a time



[Chorus]

Take one step at a time

There's no need to rush

It's like learning to fly

Or falling in love

It's gonna happen and it's

Supposed to happen that we

Find the reasons why

One step at a time


-zzz the fonts in this post is screwed

Kenneth is damn FRIGGIN PISSED with those
AYG FAGTARDS

Why?

Cause when i opened my Email..
I saw this:

I would like to inform you that out of the 33 people, only 23 people have been selected because the rest of them are too young and we are unable to allocate them to any roles/positions.
.
.
.
We apologise to the rest of 11 people...and let me check with SYOG OG-on whether they will accept young volunteers like your age? (Alan, Executive, SYOG OC Volunteer Management), can you advise me on the acceptable age range of YOG volunteers)..and if your age is acceptable, may I put you in the YOG volunteer list which now I am recruiting in May09?

But.. WE'RE GIVEN THIS CHANCE TO PARTICIPATE IN YOG INSTEAD!!
Hw ironic..

Let's see wht u gotta say..

This is because most probably, you'll will stand a chance to be appointed by the SYOG OC to be the 2010 SYOG voluneteer leader because you'll will acquire valuable AYG volunteer experience in 2009?

Yeah right.. Nw Im not even helping in AYG lah!!
Cfm in e end gimme all those shitty saikang job if a volunteer again..
Fag..
U think i so thickskin ah..
U think i so friggin despo to help meh?
I can live without this "WONDERFUL" experience and AWESOME record..
U can keep ur RIDICULOUS certificate..

Singapore will host the very first Youth Olympic Games (YOG) in 14-26 Aug 2010! And as a result, the Singapore Youth Olympic Games Organizing Committee (SYOG OC) will need 20,000 volunteers for this event.

20k volunteers.. why the heck would u need 20k Volunteers for?
Wanna us be every single participant's personal butler ah?

and frm the email.. He SOOOOOO friggin dunno anything at all la..
(can u cfm this? can u cfm that? where is this why is that?)
"You think so easy to coordinate ah? You try lah?"
Yeah!! HELL I WOULD!!
AND I'LL SHOW U NO MATTER WHT.. EVEN A PURE SLACKING 17-YEAROLD STUDENT CAN DO iT MUCH BETTER THAN YOU!
But NO!!! U Fatuous Stubborn Fagtard wouldnt let go of ur Pride and Ego and let me take over..

Foolish Incompetent Noob..

Ok.. U might think im making a Mountain out of a molehill..

But for someone who has been rushing around between lessons, missing breaks..
Just to submit a last min given application form..
SO enthu that he went to research on the whole AYG event..
every location.. every sport.. most noticiable characters of each event..

JUST SO HE IS WELL PREPARED FOR ANY TESTS OR INTERVIEW..
SO THAT HE CAN GET A PLACE IN VOLUNTEERING IN THE AYG.

It is no joke..

Shyte.. Wht a fool I am to waste all the time..
Not knowing that whtever Ive prepared against any enemy attack..
is all useless..
Because the real enemy..
Is the ally who stabbed me in the back.



That's not the only triggering factor..

Frankly speaking..
Im a person who HATES! HATES! HATES! HATES!
to do things that would not yield the optimal results..
and if I start.. I must GET..
That's the way of the Perfectionist. (IMO that is)
and
That's also why I'm a "slacker"..
I'm a demanding person..
I'm somebody who demands perfection in all things,
esp in my own work
I dun go or do things which I dun see a Bright future in..
No matter how challenging the road to success might be..
No matter how many times I fall..
No matter how dim the light at the end of the cave..
I will do it..
If I cant do it.. I Won't do it..
Or just work to a level whre u reap the most harvest..
I'm not just talking abt harvesting the main crops..
but harvesting the ending result.

Take for example..
MrsTomato grows tomatoes to sell for money..
What's the money for?
"To buy more seeds! To buy better equips!"
Nonsense!
The ultimate aim is not harvesting more tomatoes to earn more money,,
but use the money to gain happiness and personal pleasures.
SO.. will you work to ur death to harvest more crops?
For more money.. For more happiness?
NO! There are so many other ways to get happiness..
Why not spend the time on the fields, on ur family instead?

Get my point?
Similarly.. Why bother studying or working so much nw?
As a teenager..
the optimal happiness growth is through play..
Going out with friends.. etc etc.
Not work.. Not studyin..
Study only when the you see that the potential growth of happiness through investing in studying/working
increases to a point beyond games and hang outs..
Surely u wouldn't excel THAT much accademically..
But ultimately, looking back into the past..
Your life is filled with more love.. more happiness.. more friends
than those mugging geeks (merely quoting a typical stereotype)

For people who enjoys other things in life..
Whatever it is..

DO! wht u think U'll get the MOST happiness out of.
(Thats if happiness is your ulimate goal in life..)
It changes frm ppl to ppl..

Anyways..
Don't let this post affect you too much..
Im not asking for apology or consolation.
this post is just to vent my temporal anger..
No offense to anyone.. (Though I think I sounded Murderous)
Many depressing things happened today..
Rejections, Dissapointments, Let-downs, Failure..
(All of which i dun wish to talk abt..)
But Do not worry!
The Jovial Kenneth will be back!! (soon i hope?)

Hmm.. come to think of it..
I've rarely released this side of me..
Sure this is a treat for some of ya'll haha..

Wrath is something really difficult to surpress..
Pls Pray for me..
that I may be able to control my anger before the sun goes down.. :)

[1.13am , May 12 09]
Ok.. Actually come to think of it..
It wasnt really his fault lah..
This poor guy was just doing hes job by relaying the msg frm AYG HQ
Den in e end kena Verbal-Whipped by me..
Sorry Dude..

Ive also edited this post..

so It might seem a lil less impactful or kinda messy..

Anyways, Thanks Edmund for clearing my Fog of Hatred :D

May Peace be with all of you :D

AH YES!! AND FINALLY!! AFTER SOOOOOOOOO LOOOONNGGGGG..
Until I cant rmb when I last..
SLPT FOR MORE THAN 12 HOURS!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IN fact.. I slpt for.. 15 HOURS!! WOOOOTTSS !!!! :D
SHOIK AH!! :D

and then.. While I was bathing..
Another weird idea came to my mind..
How bout I start this scheme called

"Kenneth has __________ for 12 hours!"

hmm not sure hw ima going to do that.. just an idea.. I'll work on it :D

Okay.. Ima go off to bed nw.. It's Quite EARLY in the morn nw.. haha ><" [Richard & Karen's wedding]